On Sunday evening I started feeling unwell.
Headache. Dizziness. Brain Fog.
Monday morning I woke up feeling the same way. On a whim, I decided to check my blood pressure and it turned out that it was fairly low for me – 102/62. My normal BP is about 115/75.
Because of the dizziness, I decided to work from home and rest a little. Spent most of the day standing as sitting tended to cause me to feel dizzier. And made sure and ate and drank well.
Today I woke up once again feeling worse. My BP was 101/61, about the same as yesterday. I called in sick this time and decided to check the doctor.
It turns out I was slightly dehydrated. Dehydrated!
How neglectful could I be that I missed drinking water so much so that it affected my health?
This is exactly what I wrote about yesterday about being so busy that I’m missing those small things, like drinking water.
The trouble is what am I being so busy with. Are those things that are truly worthwhile to me? And when I think about it, they’re not.
They why then do I do it, but not find myself being motivated to do the things that will be truly worthwhile, like completing my M.Sc. project?
It’s likely the social peer pressure of work tasks that takes precedence over my private tasks. If I don’t get my work tasks done then I would let down a few people, even get fired. However, if I don’t complete my M.Sc. project then I only let down myself, and I’m no worse off, as I would lose something I never had anyway: an M.Sc. degree.
These weird rationalisations happen in the background causing me to choose activities that don’t provide greater benefits to me. An M.Sc. degree will be far more useful to me than completing that report for whoever.
But again, knowing that these things happen doesn’t necessarily stop it from happening.
In the end, I may still end up doing that report, and not completing my project, or even worse, not drinking enough water.
I hope that I can wisen up before I end up killing myself.