My 2021 Review
Well, 2021 was a clusterfuck of a year.
COVID-19 continued resulting in a great number of infections and an even greater number of deaths in T&T. This despite vaccinations, continued lockdowns and a State of Emergency being called. We left the year with December being the deadliest month since the pandemic started.
The economy slowly reopened, businesses reopened, and my office mandated persons to return to the office, because, you know, fuck people. Interestingly, there was a rise in the number of cases at the same time. I wonder if they are related… Nah.
I too got COVID in November. My wife and younger daughter got it too. Luckily it wasn’t anything serious but still knocked us out. The quarantine was the worst part, especially since my father-in-law passed away during then and none of us could go to the funeral. I could understand why persons are getting sick and not telling anyone.
COP26 was a failure and showed how selfish we are as a species that we’re willing to doom our existence for short-term gains. I can’t help but feel defeated, especially when I can’t convince my own family to change their habits. But I refuse to give up that fight.
For 2021 I had just three goals:
- Finish my M.Sc. project
- Get a new job
- Start a new business
And in the end, I accomplished not a single one.
I started up well, getting a prototype chatbot up, studying and completing my Cisco DevNet Associate certification, and reconnecting with my network. But somehow during the year, things got really down and my strength and will waned.
By August my productivity dived. I stopped caring about my to-do list and started to allow things to fall. I felt I was going nowhere fast and started to question even more whether what I was doing was even worth it.
Is the general drudgery in a capitalistic, individualistic society that is hell-bent on its own destruction really worth it?
The general answer was that it was not.
It’s even worse seeing what is necessary to “make it” in the corporate world. Working in a new feudalism where persons hold artificial power to create their own private fiefdoms. The power plays, back-stabbing and boot-licking that happens tires me out.
As things at work got worse, I started questioning more and more my reason for sticking around. Especially when you consider everything that’s happening in the world. It makes me question whether I’m really serving a purpose here and whether the company’s goals align with my principles. It doesn’t feel like it does.
I think I’m spending too much time on r/antiwork subreddit.
My 2022 Plan
This time I’m not planning anything. I’m just going to let things happen.
I still want to complete my M.Sc., get a new job, and start a new business, but it’s obvious that putting it out that that I’m going to do it was not enough. If I was to choose a plan, it’s that I plan to question everything, stop taking shit from others, and build processes that matter.
Plus, I need to really think about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to bring some finality to this existential crisis that I’m going through.
I want to leave 2022 with a better idea of what the rest of my life is going to look like.