It’s after 9 pm and I’m still at the office.
After an entire day of following up with people, outing fires, and trying to get my bearings, after work is where I can get some real work done.
And still, not feel fulfilled.
It’s something when you have to give up something of yourself to not feel like a total failure.
And it’s getting tiring.
I’m reading a book right now, The 5 Choices, and the introduction tells a story so close to how I’m feeling right now. The story ended:
As Jaivon rolled all this over in his mind, he began to feel something he hadn’t felt before — despair.
Despair. That’s the word for how I’ve been feeling recently.
I’ve been saying I’m feeling frustrated — the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfilment of something — but that has led the way to despair — the complete loss or absence of hope.
Not a nice feeling and I will continue to work on improving my frame of mind to overcome this feeling.
I’ve been there before now that I think about it. I didn’t have the correct word for the feeling, but I’ve been there.
I overcame it then. I will overcome it again.